At a halt, but still moving.

Ever since I moved 30 minutes outside of the city, it's been a struggle to get to the dojang on a weekly basis. When I lived close to the dojang (30 minute walk or 10 minute drive + 5 minute parking time), it was a lot easier to motivate myself to go in for a good, hard workout. Now, it's more of planning 2 hours of my day for commute time, parking costs, whether or not the Red Sox are playing, and how long I intend my workout to be, just to get into the dojang. I'm no less passionate about Taekwon-Do, but living so much further away from the dojang and having real world, career-related commitments makes it that much harder to stick to my martial arts goals. I find myself struggling more and more with this; I want to advance to the next level, but I also need to ensure that I can commit the appropriate time and energy with certain regard to my work schedule. (Dropping down to one job, albeit full-time, has not made my time management easier.)

Don't get me wrong; I have plenty of people I can tap into for support - my training partner, several other members of the Black Belt community, etc. They have always stood by me, provided me with encouragement, and motivated me when necessary (and I have done the same for them when things got difficult). I do want to get back into daily practice, and I know that everything I said above can be counteracted with better planning and straight-up commitment.

Knowing my schedule for the next month, I froze my account until October, since I won't even be able to get into the dojang until then due to travel and the nature of my job (budget season). But once October comes around, I will try to go to class and practice more than I have been earlier this year. I will make my goals for attaining the next degree by December, as soon as certain other aspects of my life come into clarity.

On another note, I have been maintaining my fitness. Since March, I have been taking advantage of the corporate gym, taking classes or working out solo 3-5 times a week. I am glad I made the conscious change to do so; for a year after I graduated from the MBA program I did not do any true physical activity outside of TKD and my body paid for it. I now take yoga and pilates classes, as well as bootcamp style classes, since having fellow gym goers in a room being pushed by an instructor motivates me to attend class and push myself.

The benefits of taking these classes is evident - my core is stronger and my flexibility has improved. With regards to my knee, I can now sit Indian-style for longer periods of time without going numb, I can do Child's Pose, I can sit on my heels, and I can sit in a squat. The knee itself still cracks every now and then, and my left hip is still overcompensating for the weaker knee on that side, not to mention the right side of my body constantly tries to make up for the weaker left side. The good thing is that I am more aware of my body - where the cracks are coming from, where I am tighter after a hard workout, and where I need strengthen my muscles. I hope I can continue to maintain this health change through the rest of this year.

Here's to another 5 months left before 2012.

I've stopped counting.

I think I've hit the five or six month mark (24 weeks by January 7). There's been improvement in my knee (such as being able to climb stairs without wincing at the end of the day), but I think that my lack of physical therapy (and physical ANYTHING in general) is causing a minor setback. I was supposed to get fitted for a knee brace (the kind that provide a security blanket for you when working out) in mid-December, but my health insurance stopped covering me for that month. So, I moved all my appointments to January, but if my union screws me again and I end up not having health insurance, then I have to wait until February to start do cutting and pivoting exercises. What's worse is that I'd been so busy during the holidays that I didn't make time to work out. I think I've started to lose muscle mass again in my quad and that does not make for good further ACL recovery.

And there's still the swelling in my knee. My surgeon told me that it goes away after 9 months, but I'd love to see it go away now. I'm tired of the feeling of needing to crack my knee, the random popping noises, etc. I know that it's normal (for now), but I can't help feeling frustrated. I suppose it's normal when you can't do much about the stuff going on underneath the skin.

I've decided to get back into shape again (since I let myself go pretty badly this semester - full-time MBA program + working 2 jobs does not make for a good schedule to work out). My friend Melissa and I have made a pact to go to the gym together at least twice a week this month to get back into the swing of things, and eventually going five times a week once we are in shape. Workout buddies are great - it's much easier to motivate myself to go work out when you know you can't keep someone waiting.

These past two weeks I've just been doing calisthenics to get some physical activity into my day. I've maintained my knee exercises and stretching, and added pushups, situps, back extensions, and good mornings (all without weights). My surgeon has told me that I can do straight-line running, so that's next on the agenda when Mel and I begin our gym sessions next week. I've already seen improvement in my energy levels and mood, and I can't wait to keep this going.

Here's to a better year, and to a full recovery! For all those people out there who've torn their ACLs, I wish you luck in your surgery and recovery processes.

Happy (belated) new year!