A month and soon to be under the knife.

It is a month today that I first tore my ACL (and didn't realize it, thinking it was only a knee sprain - the pop in my knee should have warned me).

In hindsight, this injury has given me a lot to think about, from facing an opponent in sparring to managing life. Had I gotten this injury while I was still in undergrad, I would have been quite screwed, with my hectic schedule and all. I can't remember a time that I'd slowed down during all four years. During the school year, I'd be involved in ASA, taking between four to five courses, and working two to three jobs. In the summer, I would be working at an internship or at the R.O. and at UPS at night.

I went back to the R.O. this past Tuesday since I felt good enough to get there and back (and be comfortable throughout the day). I haven't been able to go to UPS because of the lifting involved, and my inability to actually put strength behind my core without my knee. It's been nice to work only one job, but I know that after I recover from surgery, I'll be going nuts again with my crazy schedule.

This injury was life telling me to slow down for once, think about everything that's going on in life, and take everything one step at a time. I was so busy thinking about how to get ahead that I didn't give enough regard to the things that were happening to me NOW. My attention was always divided; I couldn't truly give my 100% in whatever I did, whether it was taking class at TKD or organizing an event. Being forced to stay still and ponder has opened my eyes a bit.

After I got hurt, I also made a promise to myself to put my all into my training at TKD for my second dan. I can't go into a test with sloppy form, nor should I be going to class and only performing 60%. If I don't give my all, then what's the point? I need to take care of my body in the process as well (better than I have been doing).

My surgery has been scheduled for the 22nd, and I have to call the hospital to confirm. I can't believe it's coming so soon - in just three weeks I will be on an operating table with my knee open and a new ACL screwed on (from my hamstring). I can't even fathom that at this point.

I just have to take it a day at a time.

Happy Independence Day!